#2 Tip for Enhancing Recovery-Go to 12 Step Meetings and/or Support Groups

May 11, 2012

This tip applies to everyone not just those who have a sex addiction. People who have addictions are suffering! It is such a relief to find you are not alone and you don’t have to carry this burden alone. Having said that, there are a huge amount of excuses people use to avoid going to meetings. Here are just a small number of them:

  • I’m not as sick as those other people, they are not a special case like I am.
  • I’m too ashamed to show up with my problems, I could never talk about myself to a room full of strangers.
  • What if I see someone I know?
  • I don’t believe in that “Higher Power” stuff!
  • I don’t have the time.
  • I can stop all by myself, if I just put my mind to it.
  • I don’t really have a problem, it’s all his/her fault that we’re in this mess.
  • I don’t want to say out loud, “I’m a “whatever” addict.”
  • I’m really a loner and don’t mix well with others.

The list goes on and on. Here’s the truth-trust me! We were not created to handle an addiction alone. There is healing and support in a group of others who suffer as you do. While the specific behavior may be different, the root addiction is the same. Sex addiction and sex/love addiction are extremely powerful addictions and cannot be stopped ALONE. Because they involve basic human drives and behaviors, as opposed to substances like alcohol, they are harder to stop. Studies have proven that in these addictions, the wiring in the brain has been altered. Healing is indeed possible, but you have to love yourSELF enough to do what is required to heal, and one of those things is to get the support you need in 12 step AND to work the steps of recovery with a trusted sponsor. 12 step recovery is not a spectator sport. Yes, take your time, don’t rush it or pressure yourself to HURRY up and get a sponsor and finish up those steps! Just go–sit there if you must, try different meetings until you find one you can feel comfortable in, copy down phone numbers, let yourself talk with people after the meeting, but keep going. You will be glad you did. It may feel awkward at first, but just keep doing it.

If you would like to try something that fits better with your personal religious beliefs, there is Celebrate Recovery that is offered in many Christian venues. Also the LDS (Latter Day Saints) have a fine program and materials that fit the recovery model. Check it out.

Another way, in addition to the free 12 step meetings, is through group therapy with a trained sex addiction therapist. In my men’s and women’s groups there is crosstalk, bonding, trauma resolution, and healing. There is great power in the group experience. It takes great courage to start the journey of recovery, but it and you are well worth it!

Next: Making phone calls.

I welcome your comments and/or questions and until next time remember that you are loved and precious, no matter what!




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